So there is a few highlights of summer i would like to write in stone, or here at least.
hanging out with friends has been really fun. I just love having the stupid conversations i have, and being absolutely fearless of my absolute pathetic expressions. I don't know...I have a really weird personality, and with each person I'm completely different. and i think right now my mission is to bind them together, because i feel when i drift from one persona to another a very cheap and very fake self. and i really don't like that, but thats who i am now, and i sort of just have to accept it and work a little harder on that. but life is just a peach, and i hate that people always use that phrase with sarcasm but this time i mean it completely. these two little girls in the bathroom at the park, were totally having a blast, and i could tell by their cake icing across their faces, and giggling nonstop. And it sort of made me feel really old, when i walked in there to put my make up on. as i looked in the mirror, i made short conversation by asking what is on your face?! and they replied delighted and over excited. And its like i already knew that feeling, and what they were experiencing. and i just smiled at them, and they responded by asking are you putting makeup on, and i rolled my eyes and grinned....and said yes, how did you know?, and they answered thats what girls always do in the bathroom. they continued to ask, are you spanish? and i responded no, im native. Then they said are you sure? and i laughed...and then they said because spanish girls are really pretty, and you're really pretty. and they proceeded by asking if i had dimples, and i said no. but it kinda looks like it cause i have chubby cheeks and they laughed. and i said I'm not as lucky as you girls and they looked at each other and laughed, and i think i just love kids, i feel their honesty and i can talk to them and feel like thats me, thats who i am. 

i remember you well. writing was an escape where i could be so dramatic and thoughtful. now i don't think of it that often. i don't let my feelings touch me either. its a weird process growing up. I kinda wish i could stay very timid and broken. But its almost like you aren't grown up but rather indifference to feelings that once, made you create a blog about feelings. I sorta wish i was that crazed dizzied eyed heartful, wild girl that would stay up late, with the laptop wide open and had created a world that couldn't, would not take no for an answer. so for future writers of the world, break your heart, and don't ever let it change you.  don't mind the pain ...enjoy it. its the best reminder your alive, and the only thing that makes us grow. i wish i never stopped writing, writings such a beautiful feeling and a wonderful thing to do when your human. 

ha i have so much drafts but thats a few for now from the past. ill post the others later. 

so go on and love her ...ill never tell her about how i loved you first.

I feel for the herion addict

for the alcoholic 

for the fear we all have to live with

but most of all I feel for the love addict

I ran along these empty streets calling out thoughts, breathes, motions of you.

"Never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary."

"and when its over, let it go"