I fell for her. Fuck.

“And then they went just as quiet as they came. Left To the beautiful remains. To somewhere only known to them, they went there Calm and ready, happy and forgiving, they were dying in perfection to only reunite in heaven.” closing the book to the end. I grip tightly the skin stretched over my bones waiting for the words.

She looked towards me smiling with all the strength in her face she managed to add sparks to her eyes, whispering she asked “ Do you” weak her soft voice cracked, shaking ”Do you think I could go there?” a long silent stood between us. Trying to hold down my pain my throat tightened, my knuckles whitened. “ Ah, I think you can go wherever the heck you want,” shit their goes a tear. Her petite nose flared as she tried to be strong for the both of us. She let out a laugh and ended with a smile but it broke “your going to leave, huh.” “Never” “but when I’m gone, your going to walk out that door,” “no” “ yes your going to grow up Conner, your going to marry her, she’s going to make you smile without trying, she’s going to love you and your going to love her. Your going to have incredible kids, god there going to look like you, and everyone’s going to be happy. You’re going to be happy but me I’ll never know that feeling, I’m done…” “Hey don’t talk like that” “Its true” “I’ll be nothing. All our memories aren’t even going to have time to be forgotten they’re just going to disperse as if they never existed.” There won’t be sparks there won’t be pain, fuck there won’t even be feelings. It all dies here” Letting loose I wipe her tears away. “I’m barely here and I feel it all slipping. I just wanted to let you know you were my favorite part of life; Conner and I just wish we had more time. Cause maybe I could have been that girl; I could have been Amie Nicole Bay. But I fucked up somewhere. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be more.” I don’t know what happened then I opened my mouth to speak but a long exaggerated beep let hell loose. Rushing doctors here and there. Frantic parents came in as I stood there like deer in headlights. Her hands fell limp. Your hair strands framed her face. Her lips didn’t twitch like they use to. Her eyelashes rested. She left just like that and here I stand the words still at the seams of my lips “you are her”.